I don’t know how many preachers have had this nightmare, but it is one that has occasionally awakened me with a frightening start. I am standing in my underwear with a wedding about to begin. The bride is about to walk down the aisle, and I am scrambling feverishly in the changing room looking for my suit, unable to find it anywhere.
I am always relieved to wake up and realize that horrifying scene was only a dream.
Jesus told a parable that was fictional, but unlike my dream, it carried eternal weight. As with His other parables about the end times, the theme of the bridegroom’s delay is central.
“Then the kingdom of heaven will be like this. Ten young women took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. When the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them, but the wise took flasks of oil with their lamps. As the bridegroom was delayed, all of them became drowsy and slept.”
— Matthew 25:1–5
The oil in the wedding lamps represents a vital relationship with Jesus through the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit. As the final arrival of the kingdom is delayed, both groups of followers end up falling asleep. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t experienced a period of time when their devotion to the Lord began to slacken.
Personal Responsibility
Much like my wedding nightmare, the wedding started unexpectedly, and not everyone was prepared.
“But at midnight there was a shout, ‘Look! Here is the bridegroom! Come out to meet him.’ Then all those young women got up and trimmed their lamps. The foolish said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.’ But the wise replied, ‘No! There will not be enough for you and for us; you had better go to the dealers and buy some for yourselves.'”
— Matthew 25:6–9
An old African American preacher once observed with insight, “Every pot has to sit on its own bottom.” The “oil” of a personal relationship with Jesus through the Holy Spirit cannot be borrowed, inherited, or transferred from one person to another.
Too Late
All ten women looked like they belonged in the wedding party, but the arrival of the groom revealed who was genuinely prepared.
“And while they went to buy it, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went with him into the wedding banquet, and the door was shut. Later the other young women came also, saying, ‘Lord, lord, open to us.’ But he replied, ‘Truly I tell you, I do not know you.'”
— Matthew 25:10–12
The symbolism of the “oil” can sometimes seem complex, but the bridegroom’s closing words cut straight to the heart of the matter: “I do not know you.” That is the real issue.
A close friend of mine had already been in pastoral ministry for ten years. He had graduated from a prestigious seminary and was serving a prominent church in Kansas City. Yet while attending a Catholic retreat, he came to a humbling realization: he was just like the foolish young women. For all his outward religious activity, he lacked the “oil” of a deep, personal relationship with the Lord.
A priest on that retreat helped my friend truly experience Jesus through the presence and power of the Holy Spirit. Of all the pastors I have known in Kansas City, he is one of the most remarkable. Knowing Jesus—and being known by Him—transformed his life and entirely reshaped his ministry to the congregation.
The lesson of this parable is simple: follow the example of my friend. Don’t wait until the door is shut to make the decision to genuinely know and follow the Lord.
YouTube Discussion
Rudy Ross, Bruce Kirby, and I sat down to discuss Matthew 25:1–13 on YouTube today.
Real Voices 