Can you imagine that Mother Teresa experienced a spiritual desert for 50 years? She wrote of those years: “In my soul I feel just that terrible pain of loss, of God not wanting me—of God not being God—of God not existing… The darkness is such that I really do not see—neither with my mind nor with my reason.”
The great English preacher Charles Spurgeon suffered from bouts of depression that kept him bedridden for days at a time. He learned to approach the spiritually dry times of depression and said, “I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock of Ages.”
Devotional writers describe spiritual dryness as “the Dark Night of the Soul,” named after the writings of St. John of the Cross.
He wrote this about the spiritual desert that we all face from time to time: “If a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.”
If you are in a dry season in your relationship with God, or if you have lived through one of those experiences, what God revealed through Isaiah should be very welcome:
I am about to do a new thing;
now it springs forth; do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert.
The wild animals will honor me,
the jackals and the ostriches,
for I give water in the wilderness,
rivers in the desert,
to give drink to my chosen people,
The people whom I formed for myself
so that they might declare my praise. (Isaiah 43:19-21)
The way back home for God’s exiled people involved a dangerous journey through the desert. God promised enough water for the travelers that even the wild beasts would join His people in praise.
Spurgeon’s lifetime battle with depression or Mother Teresa’s years of spiritual dryness can be as daunting as a long trek through the wilderness.
John of the Cross is right to encourage us to keep on walking with God, even when the way is dark and dry.
One of my favorite authors, François Fénelon, describes the spiritual benefit to those who keep on walking with God through depression and dryness.
He writes: “Dryness and suffering are the best food for the soul, provided we receive them with faith and a quiet spirit. In times of dryness, we learn to love God for Himself, and not for the consolations He gives.”
Without a doubt, Spurgeon learned valuable lessons as he struggled through depression. In one instance, he perceptively remarked, “When you cannot trace His hand, you can trust His heart.”
Trusting God’s Heart
Only God can say, “I AM.” We can say, “He is,” but no one can claim to be “I AM.”
You are my witnesses, says the Lord,
and my servant whom I have chosen,
so that you may know and believe me
and understand that I am he.
Before me no god was formed,
nor shall there be any after me.
I, I am the Lord,
and besides me there is no savior. (Isaiah 43:10-11)
When God declares Himself to be “I AM,” He is telling us that He will be everything we need.
Why can we—and the people I’ve quoted above—trust Jesus during times of spiritual dryness and depression? Jesus, who came to reveal God to humanity, explained what it means to trust God, who is “I AM.”
Below are seven instances where Jesus equated Himself with the Father by using the “I AM” designation for Himself. In times of spiritual dryness or depression, we may not be able to trace God’s hand in what is happening, but we can trust His heart as revealed by Jesus.
(1) The Bread of Life: “Jesus said to them, ‘I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.'” (John 6:35)
(2) The Light of the World: “Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, ‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life.'” (John 8:12)
(3) The Gate: “So again Jesus said to them, ‘Very truly, I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep.'” (John 10:7)
(4) The Good Shepherd: “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” (John 10:11)
(5) The Resurrection and the Life: “Jesus said to her, ‘I am the resurrection and the life. Those who believe in me, even though they die, will live.'” (John 11:25)
(6) The Way, the Truth, and the Life: “Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.'” (John 14:6)
(7) The True Vine: “I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinegrower.” (John 15:1)
YouTube Discussion
Rudy Ross, Bruce Kirby, and I discussed this passage on YouTube today. It can be found on the Bob Spradling YouTube channel.
Real Voices 