You will recall Jesus’ words in the Sermon on the Mount about murder and adultery.
The message about murder began, “You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, ‘You shall not murder,’ and ‘whoever murders shall be liable to judgment'” (Matthew 5:21**).
Next on Jesus’ agenda was adultery, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery'” (Matthew 5:27).
According to Jesus, anger is at the root of murder and lust occurs before adultery takes place. Jesus placed these two attitudes of the heart at the front of his “You have heard it said, but I say unto you” message, because anger and lust are the top two ways humans bring about harm.
The story of Amnon, Tamar, and Absalom in 2 Samuel highlights the truth of Jesus’ message. It began with what appeared to be love, but was actually lust.
Some time passed. David’s son Absalom had a beautiful sister whose name was Tamar, and David’s son Amnon fell in love with her.
Amnon was so tormented that he made himself ill because of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible to Amnon to do anything to her (2 Samuel 13:1-2).
Amnon’s friend, Jonadab, suggested a scheme to entice Tamar into the arms of her half-brother. Amnon pretended to be sick and asked David to send Tamar to be his nurse. When Tamar arrived at Amnon’s sick bed, he began to force her for sex.
Her response reveals what Amnon’s actions would do to both of them.
She answered him, “No, my brother, do not force me, for such a thing is not done in Israel; do not do anything so vile!
As for me, where could I carry my shame? And as for you, you would be as one of the scoundrels in Israel. Now therefore, I beg you, speak to the king, for he will not withhold me from you” (2 Samuel 13:12-13).
There is no question that Amnon was a scoundrel. There are stronger words to describe his actions. Rudy Ross explains in today’s YouTube video the extent of Tamar’s shame. Amnon’s violation of his half-sister would render her unable to marry for her entire life.
Tamar was willing to wait until she received permission from David to marry Amnon, but his lust was not willing to be denied.
But he would not listen to her, and being stronger than she, he forced her and lay with her (2 Samuel 13:14).
Lust’s Deception
After Amnon raped his stepsister, we see the true nature of his so-called love for her.
Then Amnon was seized with a very great loathing for her; indeed, his loathing was even greater than the lust he had felt for her. Amnon said to her, “Get out!”
But she said to him, “No, my brother, for this wrong in sending me away is greater than the other that you did to me.” But he would not listen to her.
He called the young man who served him and said, “Put this woman out of my presence and bolt the door after her” (2 Samuel 13:15-17).
We can all probably relate to Amnon a bit. He wanted something so badly that he let nothing stop him from getting it. But once he had it, his feelings changed, and he began to hate it.
Tamar’s reaction to Amnon sending her away is heartbreaking. First, she was violated, and now she’s being humiliated again by being dismissed in shame.
Paul wrote in Romans 6:23 that “the wages of sin is death.” One of my seminary professors explained how this works. It’s not that we die right away, but rather, each sin causes a bit of death inside us. We sin a little and die a little. We sin more and die more.
We can see this in Amnon’s actions. His sin made him feel a sense of death within his spirit. The same goes for Tamar. The sin committed against her caused part of her to die inside.
Tamar openly showed the harm done to her. Her brother
But Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the long robe that she was wearing; she put her hand on her head and went away, crying aloud as she went (2 Samuel 13:19).
Absalom noticed it.
Her brother Absalom said to her, “Has Amnon your brother been with you? Be quiet for now, my sister; he is your brother; do not take this to heart.” So Tamar remained, a desolate woman, in her brother Absalom’s house. (2 Samuel 13:20).
As we read more about King David and his family, we’ll see that Absalom used this event to take revenge on his brother and grew distant from his father, the king.
David’s Folly
I often say one of the best things about the Bible is how it portrays its heroes and key figures. Here, David is shown in a negative light. As a father, he plays favorites among his sons, neglects one, and alienates another.
When King David heard of all these things, he became very angry, but he would not punish his son Amnon because he loved him, for he was his firstborn. (2 Samuel 13:21).
David’s inaction paved the way for Absalom’s revenge and Tamar’s sorrow.
But Absalom spoke to Amnon neither good nor bad, for Absalom hated Amnon because he had raped his sister Tamar. (2 Samuel 13:22).
We’ll explore that story another day as we delve deeper into the royal family’s intrigues.
Reflections
While we might not fully relate to Amnon’s sin against his stepsister, we can understand how anger or lust has led us into trouble.
Thankfully, Romans 6:23 reminds us that while the wages of sin is death, God’s free gift is eternal life through Jesus Christ, our Lord.
Let’s praise God for His forgiveness and grace, and let’s let God’s grace transform our inner self and outer actions.
YouTube Discussion
Rudy Ross, Bruce Kirby, and I discussed this passage on YouTube today.
Real Voices 