Jesus always turned tests into insightful teaching moments. In this instance, he gave valuable counsel about marriage.
The religious authorities presented Jesus with a test, presumably in an attempt to accuse him of faulty beliefs.
Some Pharisees came to him, and to test him they asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause?” (Matthew 19.3).
Various schools of Jewish teachers had differing views on divorce. Some were quite liberal and allowed a man to divorce his wife for minor reasons. Others were conservative and more restrictive of divorce.
The Pharisees were offended that Jesus taught with authority (Matthew 7.29), but had not gone through the process of becoming a recognized teacher. They didn’t want information about marriage, but rather to expose his thinking with a test.
Like an excellent Jewish teacher, Jesus drew their attention to the Scriptures.
He answered, “Have you not read that the one who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’
And said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?
“So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Matthew 19.3-6).
Rather than fall into their trap, Jesus gave a straightforward answer based on God’s will. He highlighted God’s desire that a married couple not be separated by human issues.
Like many people who are familiar with the Scriptures, the Pharisees used a Bible verse to counter the one that Jesus used.
They said to him, “Why then did Moses command us to give a certificate of dismissal and to divorce her?” (Matthew 19.7).
At this point, Jesus taught both the Pharisees and future generations an important lesson about marriage.
He said to them, “It was because you were so hard-hearted that Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.
“And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a divorced woman commits adultery” (Matthew 19.8-9).
The root cause of divorce and marital strife is a hard-hearted response to one another.
What is the nature of a hard heart?
There are many possible answers, but the one that most resonates with me is this. When someone is firmly fixed in their feelings and beliefs and is unwilling to change, they have a hard heart.
On the other hand, if the person treats another with the same love, respect, and understanding they wish for themselves, they have a generous and loving heart.
The “my or the highway” approach to the person you profess to love leads to the “highway” of divorce in too many cases.
One of my friends suggested this to a couple that was having marriage problems. She said, “Why don’t you stay on your knees in prayer until the Lord fixes your marriage?”
If couples in trouble were to take her advice, I believe God would gladly hear their prayers and come to their aid.
I have found that God has to wait for me to overcome my desires and wants before he can answer some of my prayers.
I expect this will be true with quarreling couples, too. Please don’t give up praying until God breaks through the hardness of your heart and gives you the best marriage imaginable.
Divorce and Forgiveness
There are many challenging things that Jesus says in the Gospels. Nobody is exempt from challenges from Jesus.
The good news is that the Gospels provide an account of the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus as God’s solution for our sin problem.
Divorce is a sin. It reflects how humans fall short of God’s glory. However, like all other sins, it is not beyond God’s forgiveness.
The only sin that God can’t forgive is our refusal of his grace.
YouTube Discussion
Rudy Ross and I discussed this passage on YouTube today. It is on the Bob Spradling channel.
Real Voices 